"In the Spotlight:"

EMDR and Critical Incident Stress Management Services at Netcare - Testimonial

My name is Dan Whiteside. I’m a fifteen-year veteran of the Columbus Fire Department. The event I’m going to talk about happened late October 1995 around 9:30 pm. My wife and our oldest daughter (9 years old at the time) and I were coming home from a Halloween party. We were traveling eastbound on I-70 when I noticed two people standing beside their pick-up truck frantically trying to get someone to stop. I stopped to see if they needed any help. A young man and young boy covered in blood were frantically pounding on our car window for help. I asked them what had happened. The man told me their truck made a loud noise and their friend in the truck was hurt. I got out of my vehicle to see if I could help their injured friend. I instructed the man and boy to wait by my vehicle while I checked on their friend.

As I approached the truck I noticed there was no visible damage to the vehicle and the passenger door was opened. I had no flashlight with me, but the dome light was on in the vehicle. As I looked into the truck even with the dome light on I couldn’t see clearly. I climbed into the back seat of the truck and found a non-responsive person covered in blood. I exited the vehicle knowing I needed more help. I told the man and boy to sit down where they were and I would go and call for help. We had to drive several miles to find a house to call 911. I instructed the dispatcher that I’m a firefighter at the scene of an auto accident, with a critical patient. I need a medic unit and police to respond to my location immediately. We drove back to the scene.

As we were pulling up a state trooper arrived on the scene at the same time. I told the trooper I was a firefighter and that there was an injured person in the vehicle. I asked for his flashlight as we approached the truck from the rear. I was shining the flashlight in the bed of the truck when I saw a boys severed head in the bed of the truck and the body seat belted in the back seat of the truck. I checked the other boy for injuries. He denied any injuries.The man and boy asked how their friend was doing. I told them the medic was on the way and they would help him. As I walked back to the truck I noticed the trooper with his head down crying and I was wondering why I wasn’t feeling the same way. The trooper asked me how something like this could happen.

By this time the medics and firefighters arrived on the scene. I told the medics we have a DOA and the man and boy were probably in shock. I asked the officer of the engine company and the trooper if they needed me any more. If not, I wanted to get my family away from the scene before they saw anything.

As I was driving away from the scene, my wife and daughter asked if everyone was O.K. I told them help was there and everything would be O.K. We got about 5 miles away from the scene, when I started shaking really bad. I had to pull to the side of the road and let my wife drive the rest of the way home. After arriving home my wife and I talked about the accident, but that didn’t help clear my mind. My mind kept replaying the events as if I had a VCR tape in my head, over and over again. There were images stuck in my head. That no matter how hard I tried to think about something else they just kept coming back. I knew I needed to talk to someone who could help me with my situation. I called the firehouse and was given a contact number for our CISM team.

Because it was so late, I contacted Netcare Access hoping to speak with someone familiar with the CISM team. The lady I spoke with that night was very helpful. I explained everything that had happened in detail to her. Two hours later when I hung up the phone I went right to sleep. No bad dreams, I woke up feeling pretty good.

The girls had a soccer game that morning. I was able to drive everyone to the game with no problems. After the game we got in the car to drive home. I was adjusting the floor mat when I noticed a reminder of the traumatic event. I looked towards my wife in the passenger seat when I noticed the bloody handprints on the window. I started to shake uncontrollable again I was not able to drive home, my wife had to drive the rest of the way home. Everything started again in my mind, but this time I couldn’t distract my mind. I started thinking that I was having some kind of a mental breakdown!! I started to feel physically ill. I needed help fast.

My wife was able to reach Kay Werk and explained to her what had happened and what I was going through. How I felt so helpless to do anything last night, Kay set up a meeting with me that night. My wife had to drive me to the meeting. I went with Kay to her office and we discussed what happened last night. I remember talking about the event with great detail, wondering why I was remembering the accident with so many details. I remember telling Kay, I am a firefighter and death is a part of our job. I had been involved with several fatal accidents and fires but none had affected me in the way the accident did last night. I told Kay when firefighters show up at a scene things are suppose to get better not worse!! Kay explained my actions were very appropriate given the circumstances. Kay also explained when I am at work I am in a firefighter mode. You expect the worst and deal with what we have to work with. Last night I did not have my shield in place to protect me mentally. Physically, my training kicked in and I performed the tasks needed at hand. I know a team of trauma surgeons could have been at that scene and not have been able to save that boys life, but that didn’t change the feelings I was having. Thinking there had to have been something else I could have done.

Kay asked if I had heard of EMDR. She explained the process and said EMDR had been used successfully on people who had similar traumatic events. I was ready to try anything at this time but to be honest, I did not think it would help me. Kay started moving her fingers rhythmically back and forth in front of my eyes. Then she wanted to talk about the accident from the beginning to the end. This process lasted over an hour, after the session I was feeling better than when I had arrived at Kay’s office.

The next day I went to the firehouse. I felt compelled to talk about the accident with my fellow firefighters. There was something about talking with fellow peers that could understand how I was feeling. I remember sitting at the kitchen table talking about the accident and breaking down and crying like a baby. All the firefighters present were very supportive and understanding. I think that was another stage of the healing process for me.

Later that night we had a debriefing at the hospital. I was surprised by the number of people in attendance (2 troopers, 5 firefighters, 2 medics, numerous hospital staff and myself). As the debriefing was unfolding, I couldn’t believe how many people were having similar problems and symptoms dealing with the accident. I was relieved to know that I was not going crazy. That other professionals were feeling the same way.

Looking back on the accident I only had four years experience as a firefighter. I know there was a lot of doubt in my mind if I wanted to continue being a firefighter. I was fortunate to have a caring wife and a great group of people that came to my aide. I can’t explain how EMDR works, but I can tell you this...it works great. It saved my career! I am so thankful for what Kay did for me words cannot express my gratitude. I have since joined our departments CISM team. I want to be able to help others dealing with tragic events the same way the team helped me.

Thank you,

FF Dan Whiteside, E-17 3 Unit
Columbus Fire Department

Back to Main Story